The Tale Of The Golden Lovers: Kenny Omega & Kota Ibushi

I don't really have wrestling-related followers but all I want to talk about is how the best thing in professional wrestling right now is a complex, epic, and (currently) happy gay love story, 9 years in the making and featuring two of the best in the world. It's remarkable. pic.twitter.com/B6sPxSyLYw

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

Lemme know if you wanna hear about it, I guess. Even though the world is a fucking dumpster bummer, professional wrestling has this little ray of light, which is maybe a little hopeful even for those who don't care about wrestling.

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

Okay, no one asked but this will get threaded anyway, so lemme tell you all about the #goldenlovers, Kenny Omega and Kota Ibushi.

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

It's hard to say what's real and what's kayfabe (wrestling fiction-- the storyline). And the Golden Lovers always like blurring the line. But the legend begins when Kenny (a Canadian wrestler and nerd) saw a video of Kota (a Japanese wrestler and immortal elf prince).

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

Kenny knew it was his "destiny" to fight Kota. He thought they must have the same philosophy about how wrestling could be simultaneously art and comedy; athletic and entertaining. He sent a challenge video to Kota's home promotion, DDT, and they agreed to a match. pic.twitter.com/hlQGLnsFk2

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

Their first match, in Japan in summer 2008, involved fighting in parking lots and warehouses, and Kota won by Phoenix Splash off a vending machine (wrestling? real.) "It was the first time I ever cried after a match" says Kenny. "I love Kenny Omega!" says Kota. pic.twitter.com/Lz7usj9mNf

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

So they're smitten with each other as friends and wrestlers. In 2009, Kenny moves to Japan and signs with DDT, and after the amazing response to their first match, DDT understandably wants the two to become great rivals. They're both clearly full of talent.

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

But, nah, say Kenny and Kota. We don't want to fight each other. We want to be a tag team. Uh, OK, says DDT. Let's call you guys 'the golden brothers' or something, you're different ethnicities, it's funny! Mmm, nah, say Kenny and Kota. We have a different name in mind.

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

Thus the Golden Lovers are born, beginning in January 2009. In the beginning especially, there was a creepy yaoi/gay cream puff vibe to their gimmick, but even so, they quickly become beloved. And champions. pic.twitter.com/fRl9BhoeGO

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

They're always in sync, really some of the best tag team chemistry out there. They win in both DDT and New Japan Pro Wrestling. All the while, they're explicitly lovers in kayfabe, even if it's a weird lol-gays gimmick. Their end goal is "marriage" says Kenny. pic.twitter.com/7oOUUuNGE8

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

But Kota kinda starts outpacing Kenny. He's dazzlingly naturally talented, whereas Kenny's talent is the work-hard-never-quit type. They're still a tag team, but Kota starts getting more singles opportunities-- and winning. They face each other a second time in 2012.

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

At the time, it's called the best bout of all time, and it gets Kota banned for life from Budokan for doing a moonsault (backflip) off the mezzanine/balcony. The match is a showcase for their talent and incredible, basically sensual chemistry. pic.twitter.com/clcs33ByLU

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

And once again, Kota wins. (gif by @kelofthesea who is like my favorite person on tumblr. Here's the whole gifset https://t.co/wkrtFlPOR9) pic.twitter.com/cDkQwk3N8J

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

And a lot of stuff happens that i might gloss over a bit. Kota signs full time contracts with both NJPW and DDT (the first wrestler to have 2 home promotions, which is a bad idea, he will later find out). He briefly goes up to heavyweight to be in NJPW's G1 Climax tournament.

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

In 2014, Kota goes up to heavyweight permanently, and Kenny remains a junior heavyweight. The Golden Lovers wrestle their last match as a team in October 2014, and Kenny leaves DDT for NJPW. He almost immediately turns heel (becomes a bad guy!).

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

Kenny, former otaku who is fluent in Japanese, joins the Bullet Club, a faction of foreigners who (in storyline) disdain Japan and Japanese fans. This comes with requisite Sly-Stallone-in-Cobra I'm A Bad Guy Now look. He's now in this for the money, fame, and women (heh). pic.twitter.com/mzw2PBqa4V

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

In early 2015, Kenny betrays Kota. He costs Kota the IWGP Heavyweight Title, maybe the most prestigious belt in wrestling, by interfering in Kota's match against AJ Styles, leader of the Bullet Club. He is fully a heartless winning machine now. pic.twitter.com/2WrVeCXvLj

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

Not too long after that, Kenny spearheads a Bullet Club coup and deposes AJ Styles, becoming the leader. And he keeps winning; it's all he cares about anymore. He moves up to heavyweight, and puts on more than one 'best of all time' match, according to basically everyone.

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

Meanwhile, Kota gets a neck injury, gets burnt out from being in two promotions. He leaves both DDT and NJPW, becoming a freelancer after healing from his injury. He does some soul searching, which involves a brief flirt with WWE... pic.twitter.com/xFU7AaNZRw

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

... and antics such as shooting fireworks off his chest while standing on a car (which he then moonsaulted from), feeding fans melons and holding snakes, and inviting all of twitter to his birthday party (side note: Kota is my favorite human being to ever exist) pic.twitter.com/fCWDKkr5oa

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

All along, the Golden Lovers are referencing each other. Kenny does Kota's moves when he wins the G1 Climax in 2016 (the first gaijin to do so), then won't comment. Kota's costumes all sport an image of a skeletal wing (a reference to Kenny's finishing move, One Winged Angel).

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

When Kenny's asked about Kota he says he's always been in his shadow, and now has surpassed him. The best wrestling is in Japan, he says, so he's going to stay there "doing my best, and waiting for him." Kota says "you're lonely aren't you? Well, I'm right here, waiting."

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

Kenny keeps doing Kota's moves and continually subtweeting him. Kota lives his best life and mostly ignores it. Then in 2017, Kota is announced as a participant in the G1 Climax. Kenny wonders why Kota came back now. "I thought if I won the G1, you'd come back to me."

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

All through the G1, there's hope that the former Golden Lovers will face each other in the finals. Kenny goads Kota, saying he's washed up and can't make it. Kota says he wants to face Kenny in the finals-- kinda. He's also afraid they'll kill each other if they have a match.

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

But Kenny makes it to the finals and Kota doesn't. Kenny's ring gear in the finals (and the very important match prior to the finals) is a totally-not-thinking-about-you tribute to Kota (insta post by the costume designer) pic.twitter.com/xxeKsoPfDQ

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

Kenny loses, and then... he sees Kota backstage. It's the first time they've interacted since the betrayal in 2015. Kenny briefly melts into Kota's arms before self-loathingly pushing him away. https://t.co/dcAPyzoa7D

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

Anyway, later in 2017, Cody Rhodes, a member of the Bullet Club who's been gunning (lol) for Kenny's position, challenges Kota to a match at Wrestle Kingdom (biggest yearly show). He says "Kenny told me to leave you alone" while he does it. *eyes emoji*

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

Kota, a dazzling superstar angel prince, of course beats Cody at Wrestle Kingdom, but Cody is pretty relentless about goading Kenny through Kota. (I think @kelofthesea also made this gif but i got it from The Aether) pic.twitter.com/TeXL2JGFMh

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

After WK, Cody leads a bunch of BC members in trying to beat the shit out of Kota. And... Kenny defies his faction and runs in to rescue Kota. Once he was willing to sacrifice Kota for the Bullet Club; he's now willing to risk losing Bullet Club for Kota. https://t.co/Y23iGjnoko

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018

A few weeks later, the Bullet Club (led by Cody) turns on Kenny. And Kota returns the favor, saving Kenny from a beatdown. Afterwards, he offers his hand to help Kenny up. Kenny is still self-loathing about betraying Kota. He obviously thinks he doesn't deserve such a kindness.

— Simpsons Reference (@EffingBoring) February 23, 2018