TRIGGER WARNING: Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts
Tessa Blanchard opens up.
Tessa Blanchard was one of IMPACT Wrestling's top stars, and she won the IMPACT World Championship at Hard to Kill 2020. Her title win was marred by controversy, as she was accused of bullying and racism by several female wrestlers. Blanchard denied the allegations. However, following a leave of absence due to the COVID-19 pandemic, Blanchard left the company, as her contract was terminated. Blanchard went on to take some time away from wrestling before she eventually returned.
Speaking on Straight Talk Wrestling, Tessa Blanchard reflected on her journey up to this point.
“I’m very blessed the way that…honestly, I wouldn’t change anything about the peaks, the valleys, the way my career’s been, I wouldn’t change anything because I’m very proud of the woman that I am now and the wrestler that I am today, and where my career is because if anything would have been different, I might be in a different place, I might be a different person, my ego might be through the roof, who knows?" Blanchard said.
The end of Blanchard's time in IMPACT Wrestling came up, and she was asked about whether she has talked to big companies recently. She detailed how she struggled in the aftermath of her departure from IMPACT, and she had to learn who she was outside of wrestling.
"Honestly, so when everything happened to me, it was even a tough topic to even talk about. I remember, I was living in Tijuana at the time, and I remember some days I would wake up, I didn’t even have the strength to live that day, so I would go back to bed, and I would be in my bed all day long. There were days where I was tired about life, just because my identity was wrestling. I didn’t know who I was without it, and in a matter of less than 24 hours, from contract offers from the biggest companies, more money than I’d ever seen in my life, to nothing. From this whole storyline we had built for eight or nine months to me begging the TNA office that day, like I don’t want to win it, I don’t want to do this. After I didn’t go home, I went on a 27-day media tour in Mexico, where I remember we would pull over in the Uber before every interview, and I would vomit. I was just puking and puking because I didn’t know, it was whiplash, I didn’t know. I was seeing and hearing and my family, my little brother and sister, were reading all these things about me that I knew wasn’t me, I knew wasn’t in my heart, I wasn’t this person, but it didn’t matter, perception’s reality, right, the truth doesn’t matter. Even the real truth isn’t even out there still, and it doesn’t matter. But you know, sometimes those things happen because when your feet are pretty far off the ground, when you fall, you fall hard, and I didn’t know my identity without wrestling, and through all of that, through those ups and downs, those really hard days that I didn’t know if I was gonna get through, I found out who Tessa is without wrestling. I went back to college, I joined Army ROTC, and I found out, hey, I’m good at other things too. Yeah, wrestling is my dream and I love it, and this is what God’s put in my life. But without wrestling, I’m gonna be okay. There is a life after this, and one day, if I get hurt or this isn’t in my life, I’m still gonna be alright," Blanchard said.
Blanchard then noted that she had talked to some other companies, but it had not felt right to go, as she was prioritizing her happiness. She went on to discuss her struggles with anxiety, which have continued to affect her.
"I’ve talked to some other companies, and in the time, and pretty recently, it just hasn’t felt right yet to go. One thing that I promised myself is it doesn’t matter about the money, it doesn’t matter anything, if it doesn’t feel right, then I’m not going to do it because my happiness right now is very important to me. Why I say that is because through all the things that I went through, I developed some anxiety, and it sounds so silly, I feel like to talk about, but unless you’ve actually gone through it and experienced those high levels of anxiety, I feel like it’s hard to really explain. But there would be some days where I’m uncomfortable in my own skin, even, because it just overtakes everything. I never had that before all my ups and downs in wrestling, more so the downs, and now it’s something that I deal with quite frequently. Even just the other day, I remember us being in a bus with a lot of people around me, and I just felt this strong anxiety, and now I’m learning different ways to cope with it, like breathing exercises, like, ‘Hey, Tessa, everything’s okay, recenter, refocus, everything’s alright.’ I feel silly talking about it, but it’s something that’s really real that people struggle with," Blanchard said.
Blanchard went on to discuss dealing with anxiety, and she opened up about a time when she was in a really dark place. She detailed working through those issues and focusing on learning who she was outside of wrestling.
“It’s such a real thing. I remember, when I was going through some of those things, I remember one day at my dad’s house, I was visiting family, and I was just doing laundry, and I just fell to the ground, bawling my eyes out, like I don’t want to be here anymore, I don’t want to live this life, I don’t want to be in wrestling, I don’t want to do this anymore, and I remember just imagining ways to just end it all, and my ex-husband helped me a lot through some of those moments, but it took a lot of self-counseling, talking to other people, and just trying to get comfortable and figuring out who Tessa is outside of the wrestling world, outside of the spotlight. When all’s said and done, we came into this world alone, we’re gonna leave this world alone, who am I? What do I like? What do I not like? Where are my boundaries? Where am I gonna say no? What am I okay with? All these things and figuring out how to cope with that anxiety, being comfortable in your own skin. It takes a lot of work," Blanchard said.
Blanchard later stated that, with the boundaries that she had set in place, she was happy where she was, and she continued to work on the aforementioned issues.
In recent months, Blanchard has primarily been wrestling for CMLL, and she has also competed for various other promotions. She and Lluvia won the CMLL Women's World Tag Team Championship and the CMLL Martes De Arena Mexico event on August 6th.
After the article ran, WWE Superstar Chelsea Green publicly responded, noting that Tessa Blanchard hasn't apologized.
I don’t wish self-harm or thoughts of suicide on anyone and hope she has found peace. However, a simple 'I am sorry' goes a long way. We haven't heard that yet. Accountability matters, and a redemption tour of interviews won't erase the actions of an egotistical bully.
— CHELSEA GREEN (@ImChelseaGreen) August 26, 2024
Blanchard previously said that she had unfinished business in wrestling, and she was confident that she was one of the best.
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