Rousey, Angle, HHH, Stephanie
- This is set up as a UFC-style Q&A with Jonathan Coachman, which is a nice twist from what we see so much of out of WWE promos and interviews. For better or for worse, WWE is trying different ways to present interviews and promos, and I like that.
- Stephanie: "We all know how you handle losses." Ronda: "Are you a righty or a lefty?" Steph: "I'm a righty, why?" Ronda: "I wanna make sure you're still able to sign my checks"
- The segment ends when Ronda Rousey goes after Triple H's throat, but Stephanie McMahon puts Ronda Rousey through a table. Yep.
- It took Stephanie forever to get in place, and even longer to set this up. Rousey barely sold it, and should have sold it even less, because it looked like garbage. It's hard for me to buy that a Ronda Rousey would wait that long to snap someone in half while Stephanie fumbles about.
Bayley defeated Sonya Deville (w/ Absolution)
4.25/10
- The horrible, plastic, fallopian tube looking trophy is at ringside. Yeesh. By the way, Sarah Stock produced this match.
- Bayley clobbered Deville with a big clothesline, but Deville came back with a kick that was less impressive than they usually are.
- For some reason Bayley rolls out of a pin on a flat-backed Deville, and Coach appropriately rips her a new one for it. I get the feeling there was supposed to be more momentum that sent that out of a pin.
- Sonya Deville shows a lot of promise, but gets rolled up for the pin. Absolution predictably attack. Paige's neck is in such bad shape that she can't even stomp people.
- Sasha Banks makes the save and tosses Absolution over the top rope. Sasha Banks wants Bayley to raise her hand. Sasha grabs Bayley's face, but they come to blows.
- Absolution come back and Mandy hits her finish on Sasha while Sonya beats up Bayley.
Backstage Crappenings
- We see a great Asuka "By The Numbers" video about her streak.
- The two battle royal matches and the Cruiserwieght Championship will be on the pre-show. I'm okay with this. USA Network gets 205 Live when they usually don't.
- Selfie promo of Mickie James and Alexa Bliss saying that Nia has a face for radio and she'll be blubbering in her own blubber. I think Mickie James is still looking for that voice for radio. Wonder if WWE remembers the Piggie James stuff.
- Kurt Angle goes to Paul Heyman and Roman Reigns individually and asks them to not say or do anything that would cost him his Raw main event for WrestleMania. Both are pretty dickish to Angle.
Seth Rollins defeated Finn Balor
7.25/10
- The Miz, that goddamn monster, is already at work following the birth of his daughter. He does commentary tonight. A lot of respect to him for showing up.
- The Coach has been particularly awesome on commentary tonight, finding stories within stories -- ie Miz's focus changing due to having a child.
- Tyson Kidd produced this match.
- After the commercial break this devolves into a straight up fight, but it's a good one. Besides when Balor robs us of the opportunity to see a Falcon Arrow.
- A superkick and a ripcord Knee had me and everyone else sold as a finish. We see shades of their last match as Balor counters another Falcon Arrow with a small package for two! Rollins then eats knees on a frog splash for two.
- They tease running back the Summerslam 2016 spot that injured Balor, but it doesn't happen. A series of counters leads to the Curb Stomp and win for Rollins.
- Way-too-responsible parent Miz could be a fantastic character.
BRAIIIIIIIIIIIINS
- The Bar come out for a promo, and they're followed by Braun Strowman,
- Braun teases that he has a partner, but the partner wants a match with a member of The Bar, but the partner is a lot like him. He comes back out in a shirt and thick rimmed glasses and beats up The Bar.
- Here's the funny thing. The script specifically called for the glasses to not be like Dudley Boyz glasses for Braun.
- Corey Graves was fantastic in this rather stupid ass segment.
- Backstage, Curt Hawkins asks to be Braun's partner. He gets thrown through a wall.
Woken Matt Hardy defeated Goldust
5.25/10
- After a couple of backstage promos about the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal, we join a Matt Hardy vs. Goldust match in progress.
- Both Matt Hardy and Goldust wrestled for the WWF in 1995. Kind of amazing.
- Goldust still has a great powerslam, and a decent spinebuster. He counters a Twist of Fate with a roll up, but ends up eating one instead.
- THE ULTIMATE PROCUREMENT IS UPON US, APPARENTLY. Wow.
John Cena
- John Cena says he has to go to WrestleMania as a fan, and says Michael Cole came up to him and told him to enter the battle royal. He says he's lost a bunch of matches in a row on PPV, and doesn't want to take someone else's spot. I thought John Cena did a really good job of explaining this.
- Cena puts over WrestleMania, Styles, Bryan and the women on the show.
- Cena chants after he says he's disappointed in the Undertaker and that Taker left his balls at home and his hat in the ring.
Elias defeated Heath Slater (w/ Rhyno)
- Elias trashes Atlanta, and he is interrupted by Heath Slater. No way. So new.
- After Elias takes it to Heath, he gets caught with a couple of nice kicks. Elias scores one of his best Drift Aways for the win.
- Elias' hair is majestic.
Nia Jax interview
- I thought Nia Jax was very good in this interview, despite being made to look right at the camera "when talking to Alexa."
- They interviewed Nia in her goddamn gear. She says she'll squash Alexa like a bug.
Asuka & Dana Brooke defeated Mickie James & Alexa Bliss
5.5/10
- Dana Brooke works the lion's share of this match. Dana has been on the main roster for two years and is just now at the place she should have been back then.
- This entire match is Dana Brooke selling until a hot tag to Asuka. All in all, Dana did fine.
- Asuka hits Mickie with a big series of strikes and taps her out. Tonight was some of Dana's best work.
- Asuka and Dana are both attacked by the heels, including a double Impaler DDT on Dana. Nia makes the save, but Mickie causes a distraction long enough to get beaten up and lets Alexa get away.
REIGNS AND LESNAR, REIGNS AND LESNAR, REIGNS AND LESNAR
- Several WWE superstars come to the ramp to help prevent war from breaking out.
- Heyman says that this will be the last time you see Brock Lesnar on Raw. He's under contract until August, and Lesnar still has six months to serve on a USADA suspension.
- Heyman calls Reigns Lesnar's bitch.
- This brings out Reigns who tells the wrestlers protecting Lesnar, that they're protecting a part-timer who trashed them. They let him through.
- Lesnar powders out and grabs a chair, but Roman lands four Superman punches. He celebrates and gets caught with an F5.
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