I felt like this was better presented in full transcript form. Here you have it, Danhausen speaks with Fightful again....about everything.
FIGHTFUL:
“What’s up, you guys? I’m Sean Ross Sapp and I’m here at Toy HQ in Lexington. Toy Vomit, you can find them on Instagram, Twitter, all that good stuff. I’m here with Danhausen. Danhausen, what are you wearing?”
DANHAUSEN:
“Danhausen is doing a signing today. Being very safe, very evil. Danhausen bought a protective outfit.”
FIGHTFUL:
“You told me that you were buying a beekeeper suit and I didn’t think you were serious.”
DANHAUSEN:
“If it protects people from bees it should protect Danhausen.”
FIGHTFUL:
“Has it protected you from bees? How many times have you been stung by a bee since you’ve worn this?”
DANHAUSEN:
“Zero. So it is ten out of ten.”
FIGHTFUL:
“Really you’ve got to avoid those 100% guarantees. ‘Cause what if somebody buys one and then they get stung by a bee and they say, ‘Well, I heard Danhausen say 100% effective.’ ”
DANHAUSEN:
“Yes, exactly. Danhausen would lose all of his monies.”
FIGHTFUL:
“What is your net worth, if I were to go onto Google right now, is it in the trillions yet?”
DANHAUSEN:
“One would think so. It would be quite accurate if it was.”
FIGHTFUL:
“You got signed by Ring of Honor last year. Is honor really real?”
DANHAUSEN:
“Well, yes. Sometimes. Sometimes there’s cheaters like that Brian Johnstone fellow. So, who knows, really?”
FIGHTFUL:
“When you’re in this store, do you have to avoid figures that are like wasps, bees, or anything? Or do you feel effectively protected right now?”
DANHAUSEN
“Danhausen feels very safe. Got this costume, this suit of armor. You just have a jacket.”
FIGHTFUL:
“I do have a jacket, but I’ve also have not been stung by any bees here.”
DANHAUSEN:
“Neither has Danhausen.”
FIGHTFUL:
“So, what I’m wearing is just good enough.”
DANHAUSEN:
“Eh. Maybe. Not fashionable, though.”
FIGHTFUL:
“It’s a little fashionable. I think it’s more fashionable than what you have.”
DANHAUSEN:
“What do you mean? This is wonderful!”
FIGHTFUL:
“I’ve got a nice watch, too. You got tattoos.”
DANHAUSEN:
“Give Danhausen his watch.”
FIGHTFUL:
“I’m not giving you my watch. I just bought it.”
DANHAUSEN:
“Well, yes. It’s new. Give it.”
FIGHTFUL:
“Well, speaking of giving people things. Did Dave Honor—is it Dave Honor?”
DANHAUSEN:
“Yes, Dave Honor.”
FIGHTFUL:
“Did Dave Honor give you a blimp?”
DANHAUSEN:
“No! What is his problem? Where is Danhausen’s blimp? Where are all these promises?”
FIGHTFUL:
“So, how did you get here? Did you fly? Did you drive?”
DANHAUSEN:
“Danhausen has a PT Cruiser like the celebrities.”
FIGHTFUL:
“Oh, okay.”
DANHAUSEN:
“Yes, all the good celebrities. Look, where is he at? Right here.”
FIGHTFUL:
“The Rock?”
DANHAUSEN:
“Rock the Dwayne Johnson has a PT Cruiser just like Danhausen’s. So.”
FIGHTFUL:
“I bet he’s got a bunch of PT Cruisers.
DANHAUSEN:
“He has eighty-six.”
FIGHTFUL:
“Do you think he drives the Ford trucks just as show and he really drives a PT Cruiser?”
DANHAUSEN
“Yes. That’s because he’s sponsored, probably, by Ford trucks. So, he has to get free cars. He must use them.”
FIGHTFUL:
“When are you going to land that PT Cruiser sponsorship?”
DANHAUSEN:
“Hopefully soon with the help from the Dwayne.”
FIGHTFUL:
“Well, I do have some hard hitting questions for you. You’ve been working at Ring of Honor. When’s your contract up? When’s that coming up?”
DANHAUSEN:
“Oh, let’s see. Carry the three…. Sometime around Christopher Massachusetts.”
FIGHTFUL:
“I don’t know what that means. I’m gonna assume Christmas time.”
DANHAUSEN:
“Yes, yes. Whatever the end of the calendar sometime. Doomsday clock!”
FIGHTFUL:
“Would they be able to talk you into staying with that blimp?”
DANHAUSEN:
“Yes! Give Danhausen the blimp. Give him lots of money. Give him championships because then Danhausen can take them to this wonderful store and sell them.”
FIGHTFUL:
“Is money your only motivation?”
DANHAUSEN:
"What else is there?”
FIGHTFUL:
“I mean, there’s these beautiful figures. There’s—”
DANHAUSEN:
“You can buy these figures with money. Money and power!”
FIGHTFUL:
“You can. You can trade them, too. They do trades here.”
DANHAUSEN:
“Ooh. You could trade the titles for these toys.”
FIGHTFUL:
“Are you trading your PT Cruiser in now? You’d have to walk home, you don’t have a blimp.”
DANHAUSEN:
“Oh, yes. This is true. Well, we would keep the PT Cruiser. Perhaps Dave Honor can offer Danhausen some more PT Cruisers.”
FIGHTFUL:
“So, when I talked to you in person last year—I think you might have been my last in-person interview of 2020.”
DANHAUSEN:
“This is true.”
FIGHTFUL:
“You had some interest. Cody Rhodes was talking about you. You ended up in Ring of Honor. You just hit him in the wiener? What happened?”
DANHAUSEN:
“No! Groin. We do not say wiener. We are not juvenile. You punch him in the groin.”
FIGHTFUL:
“I mean, that’s—you’re big on not cursing. Wiener’s not a curse word.”
DANHAUSEN:
“No, but it is juvenile.”
FIGHTFUL:
“Juvenile?”
DANHAUSEN:
“Juvenile!”
FIGHTFUL:
“You’re driving a PT Cruiser and you’re going to tell me about juvenile.”
DANHAUSEN:
“Yes, adults drive PT Cruisers. Celebrities! Famous celebrities like Danhausen. You’re gonna call the Dwayne juvenile?”
FIGHTFUL:
“I don’t think he—”
DANHAUSEN:
“He would say, ‘What is your name?’”
FIGHTFUL:
“I would say Sean.”
DANHAUSEN:
“It doesn’t matter what your name is!”
FIGHTFUL:
“So, are you Team FTF or OFE?”
DANHAUSEN:
“Effy?”
FIGHTFUL:
“No, OFE.”
DANHAUSEN:
“Oh.”
FIGHTFUL:
“It means Out Fuck Everyone.”
DANHAUSEN:
“Aah! No! What is this?! You’re going to get taken off the air!”
FIGHTFUL:
“I’m not getting taken off the air. YouTube doesn’t care.”
DANHAUSEN:
“They don’t?”
FIGHTFUL:
“Well, I mean, they’d kick me off the air for things that aren’t cursing. But, not that.”
DANHAUSEN:
“You can swear on there?”
FIGHTFUL:
“You can swear on there. You should. Let’s give them an exclusive. Can you swear?”
DANHAUSEN:
“Ass. Did you hear that?”
FIGHTFUL:
“He did it!”
DANHAUSEN:
“Whoa. Are we in trouble?”
FIGHTFUL:
“Well, yeah. I just got the message. They’re kicking us off YouTube. It’s because of you.”
DANHAUSEN:
“Danhausen knew this. You have ruined Danhausen’s—pockets. Fill them up.”
FIGHTFUL:
“They just told me that they’re kicking you off Patreon. You’re off of Pro Wrestling Tees. You are off of Cameo. Because you just cursed. That just came to me.”
DANHAUSEN:
“You will ruin the day you crossed Danhausen, Steve!”
FIGHTFUL:
“Guys. You can go to, what was it, Patron.com/LoveThatDanhausen. Why are you messing with my watch? Look, I can turn it and it does lots of stuff.
DANHAUSEN
“Ooh.”
FIGHTFUL:
“No! You’re not getting my scoops.”
DANHAUSEN
“Yes, well. Anyways. What did you say about Danhausen’s monies?”
FIGHTFUL:
“Yeah, you got Patreon.com/LoveThatDanhausen.”
DANHAUSEN
“Yes. /LoveThatDanhausen. We have lots of exclusive videos and Cameo.com/Danhausen and ProWrestlingTees.com/Danhausen.”
FIGHTFUL:
“Your Micro Brawlers flew off the shelves.”
DANHAUSEN:
“All sold out in like a day.”
FIGHTFUL:
“In a day.”
DANHAUSEN:
“That’s unheard of.”
FIGHTFUL:
“Guys, check out Danhausen. Check out Ring of Honor. Check out Toy HQ, Toy Vomit. Until next time. We’re out.”
See Danhausen on Patreon, as well as Youtube.
