Pre-show
- The Bar and Heavy Machinery talk over one another an awful lot.
- Charlotte Flair talks to Riott Squad, and gives them sort of a pep talk. She says she'll be at ringside tonight.
- Mojo Rawley is cutting a promo in front of a mirror.
- They really feel the need to interrupt matches for promos as if they don't have a full hour for this stuff.
- We see selfie promos from Kevin Owens and Alexa Bliss.
- I still want Mark Henry to win the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal as an in-ring sendoff.
WWE Cruiserweight Championship
8.5/10
Buddy Murphy (c) defeated Akira Tozawa
- Tozawa gets caught on a suicide dive and Murphy hits a running suplex.
- Tozawa and Murphy go back and forth with some amazing offense.
- Murphy goes for a super powerbomb, but Tozawa counters it into a super Frankensteiner. That was an incredible spot.
- Murphy has some outstanding strike combinations that he's able to integrate into his moves. Pretty awesome.
- Tozawa reverses a Cheeky Nandos kick with a superkick of his own, then a spike reverse rana. There's also an amazing guillotine senton bomb.
- Murphy's Law is reversed, and Murphy is locked into the Iron Octopus. Murphy's Law wins it, though.
Inaugural WWE Women's Tag Team Championships
Elimination Chamber
Boss N' Hug Connection win to capture the titles
7.5/10
- There's some great gear in this match.
- Bayley & Sasha start out against Fire & Desire. There's some good tag team work early, but rough around the edges. Hug N Boss do an assisted armdrag body press.
- Mandy's foot is stuck in the Chamber, and Bayley does a sick neckbreaker.
- Riott Squad are in and clean house. Logan lands a pop-up headbutt on Bayley.
- Riott Squad and Fire & Desire square off, and there's a nice strike trade between Sonya and Liv.
- Mandy Rose's extensions fell out and she has lipstick on her teeth that looks like they're knocked out.
- Tower of Doom. Another dove cries.
- IIconics are in and go off. Front suplex on Sonya, assisted knee facebuster on Bayley, assisted wheel kick on Sasha.
- Then we get an ugly ass somersault kick outside the ring from Peyton to Bayley.
- Fabulous Glow are next and Naomi hits a BIG springboard body press and a bunch of Bronco Busters.
- Carmella has a nice superkick, Naomi with her signature split legged moonsault. Fabulous Glow are doing well.
- There's an amazing series of moves. Peyton Widow's Peak. Liv Codebreaker. Sonya spear. Carmella superkick. Mandy hits a huge suplex inside out on Carmella.
- Mandy and Naomi face off, but the IIconics captialize and eliminate Naomi!
- Nia & Tamina are in and clear everyone. The IIconics are hiding in the chambers, but are yanked out.
- There were like 6-7 slings into the cage and I think WWE production caught 0 of them. Samoan drops eliminate them.
- Bayley & Sasha do a nice H Bomb on Liv after Mandy stiffed Nia.
- There's a blown catapult spot on Fire & Desire, but Sonya kicks out of a Sasha knee spot in the corner.
- Liv and Sarah both do amazing body presses of the chamber. They're then eliminated by Nia & Tamina.
- That drop toe hold into a knee. Wow. That was a nasty one.
- Nia ends up crashing through the Chamber. Someone please gif the Nia sell. That was fantastic.
- Tamina is eliminated!!!! All four remaining members pin her after a Meteora and a Bayley elbow drop.
- A Bayley 2 Backstabber hits on Sonya, but Mandy breaks up the pin.
- Bayley and Sasha end up on the top of the pod with Mandy, but nothing happens. Sonya kicks Bayley into the Chamber, then Sasha gets sent into it.
- Angel's Wings on Sasha, but she kicks out! This match is cookin!
- Sonya accidentally spears Mandy, and gets locked in a Banks Statement. Sasha and Bayley win!!
- The right call. Sasha Banks and Bayley deserved to be the first WWE Women's Tag Team Champions.
- This match had a lot going against it, and they delivered. It was sloppy at spots, but was a great emotional ride.
WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship
The Usos defeated The Miz & Shane McMahon (c) to win the titles
6.75/10
- Miz brings out the GOAT Maryse, and they announce they're having another kid.
- Miz avoids a double superkick.
- Miz and Shane really put the pain on the Usos, sending them both outside of the ring.
- Usos gain control and isolate The Miz. Jimmy uses the Miz's corner clothesline against him and taunts.
- Shane tags in and does a Coast to Coast on Jey, but Jimmy catches him with a superkick on the second attempt.
- Miz has to save Shane after an Uso splash.
- Miz clears off the announce table (that has a pad on it), and one Uso accidentally flie sinto the other. Shane does his signature elbow!
- Miz lands Skull Crushing Finale on Jey, but gets crucifixed for the pin.
- Usos aren't very good at getting fired.
- Miz and Shane look dejected after their loss.
WWE Intercontinental Championship
Handicap Match
Finn Balor defeated Bobby Lashley (c) & Lio Rush to win the title
5.5/10
- We see Lio and Lashley talking before the match.
- Balor launches Lashley over the top rope, but gets tripped up by Lio. This allows Lashley to run Balor into the barricade.
- This is a WWE Raw match. Lashley does his huge slam to Balor.
- Rush tags himself in and misses a frog splash.
- A big tope con hilo lands on both Lashley and Lio, then Balor capitalizes by throwing Lio in and hitting a Coup de Grace for the win.
- Lashley turns on Lio with a big slam. I would not split them up.
WWE Raw Women's Championship
Ronda Rousey (c) defeated Ruby Riott to retain the title
SQUASH
- Charlotte cuts a good heel promo on Becky Lynch before the match.
- Ronda Rousey comes out in Sonya Blade
- This is messy early on, but they regroup with some Rousey throws.
- Riott taps out to the armbar.
- After the match, Charlotte enters the ring.
- Becky Lynch comes through the crowd on crutches and beats the shit out of Charlotte Flair to a giant pop.
- She gives Rousey a crutch and then attacks her. These were nasty and honestly dangerous. Rousey gets busted open hard. She's a gamer and still working the angle, but some of those were really wild.
- Best believe Ronda's gonna bring a receipt for that one.
- Becky is escorted out.
No DQ
Baron Corbin defeated Braun Strowman
4.5/10
- Baron tries to set up a kendo stick in the corner, but Braun busts it over his knee.
- Corbin gets a little offense outside the ring, but gets powerslammed through the table.
- Drew McIntyre's music hits and Braun doesn't get the pin. Strowman could have pinned Corbin like five times before Drew got to the ring.
- Lashley attacks with a chair behind Braun's back.
- That little prick Nicholas is nowhere to be found. #Ungrateful.
- This trio does a Shield Powerbomb through two tables and Corbin gets the win.
- The three mock the Shield to end the segment.
WWE Championship
Elimination Chamber
Daniel Bryan (c) beats Kofi Kingston, Randy Orton, AJ Styles, Jeff Hardy and Samoa Joe
9/10
- Rowan is ejected and Daniel Bryan goes off about it before the match.
- Bryan and Joe start out, with Bryan trying to avoid Joe. It doesn't last long. Powerbomb, crossface, really good transitions from Joe.
- Kofi is in next and has a sloppy exchange with Joe before doing a standing Frog Splash. Bryan stops him with a King Kong guillotine knee drop.
- Daniel Bryan tries to chill on top of the Chamber, but Kofi jumps up there. Kofi scales the cage and does a great Trust Fall onto both opponents.
- Kofi Kingston has been in WWE for over a decade, but is such a breath of fresh air in the main event scene.
- Styles is in next and hits a DDT/reverse DDT combo on Kofi and Bryan.
- Bryan scales the cage, but AJ hits a Phenomenal Forearm on him.
- Joe applies the Coquina Clutch on Kofi and they do a callback to the pin on Tuesday, but Kofi gets a jawbreaker and AJ pins Joe with a Phenomenal Forearm.
- Hardy is out next and does a half assed Poetry in Motion over the ropes on Bryan.
- AJ Styles is across the top rope, and Jeff Hardy Swantons him off the top of a pod. Bryan capitalizes with a knee for the pin.
- We see another Tower of Doom of sorts, but with a hung up AJ Styles Spider Suplexing Daniel.
- Orton is in and catches a springboarding Styles with an RKO for the pin!
- Kofi catches Orton with a Trouble In Paradise after he almost RKOs Bryan!!!
- HUGE Kofi chants! They slug it out and Kofi gets an SOS!
- Daniel Bryan hits an insane number of dropkicks in the corner, but Kofi catches him with a Mushroom Stomp.
- Outside the ring, Kofi gets sent into the pod on a bulldog attempt. It didn't break and it looked even better as a result.
- Bryan puts Kofi down with a flying knee, but Kofi kicks out!!
- Bryan grabs Kofi's arms and stomps him out, but it doesn't finish things.
- Trouble in Paradise gets two, then Bryan turns it into a small package for two as a dumbass camera cut goes to the crowd.
- A Lebell Lock is applied, and Kofi gets to the ropes, but I'm not sure what that does.
- Both men end up on the pods. Bryan is kicked down and Kofi misses a splash off the pod.
- Bryan wins with a knee to the face. This ruled.
- When you see a story like THIS crafted in a week with their back to the wall, you see what WWE can do. This should be the norm.
- New Day come out and help Kofi to the back.
Rating guide
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5.The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
These are opinions, and incredibly inconsistent ones. Don't take them too seriously, and have (and share) your own!
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