Opening Segment
- There was a battle royal with the entire horrible Raw tag team division, and the winners were to be the leaders of team Raw.
- How is it fair for all three members of Lucha House Party to be in this match?
- Braun Strowman comes out and kills everyone. He and Nicholas about to lead team Raw?
- A bunch of people jump Braun. It doesn't work.
- Strowman is tired of chasing Baron Corbin around and won't leave until he comes out.
- Stephanie McMahon comes out and tries to pep talk Braun and say Shane disrespected him.
- Braun doesn't give a HECK. Stephanie isn't happy about that. Braun knows she looks at him like a mindless meat castle.
- If YOU want people to take note of YOUR mindless meat castle, then you need to visit @getbluechew and use the code FIGHTFUL to get your first shipment free.
- Stephanie isn't happy Smackdown has won two years in a row, so she says she'll give Braun whatever he wants to win. He wants Baron Corbin and wants to pick the stipulation. Stephanie says okay, but after Survivor Series.
- Strowman says he'll tear down WWE HQ if she doesn't keep her word.
- Hey they added some pretty cool stakes for a character I care about. Good job, WWE.
- Ronda Rousey interrupts Stephanie, and says she doesn't need a pep talk. She wants to show "The Man" how to rip someone's arm off. She teases tearing off Stephanie's arm.
- Baron Corbin interrupts. He tells Rousey not to get overconfident. She throws Corbin and leaves.
- Braun gets in Corbin's face, and Stephanie takes control. "Have fun being Stephanie's lap dog, because after Survivor Series, I'm gonna neuter you"- Braun.
- I rather liked that opening segment outside of the tag division burial.
Tamina (w/ Nia Jax) defeated Ember Moon
4.5/10
- Nia and Tamina scream at people standing around backstage to move, but they weren't in anyone's way!
- This isn't a barn burner by any means, but the work is fine. Both women have to resort to strikes.
- A weird line about Ember Moon looking up to Nia. I know damn well that isn't true.
- This match is ALL Ember Moon. She's doing all the work, including bouncing off Nia Jax on a suicide dive attempt.
- Nia distracts Ember, causing the latter to get superkicked off the top rope.
- Superfly Splash gets the win.
- If Tamina is gassed after that kind of ten minute match, she needs to be in a tag team instead.
- Nia attacks Ember after the match.
- For the record, I give Ember's performance a 7/10 on my scale. She literally did everything.
BURN IT DOOOOWN
- Corey Graves is out to interview Seth Rollins.
- Graves warns Rollins to stay focused on Nakamura, but Rollins wants ANSWERS.
- Do Renee and Dean talk about ANYTHING!?
- Ambrose is out in the cold and says fans don't deserve to have him in the arena. There's a big barrel fire going on, too.
- Dean Ambrose is gonna blow up that Chevy Cavalier, which at this point is more valuable than the Cleveland Cavaliers.
- Ambrose claims Rollins and Reigns and the Shield made him weak, and he burns the Shield vest.
Finn Balor defeated Dolph Ziggler (w/ Drew McIntyre)
5.25/10
- After a highlight of Drew McIntyre vs. Kurt Angle last week, they tease Angle's theme. It's Drew and Dolph Ziggler instead.
- Drew McIntyre cuts a great promo about how long he's waited for a moment like this.
- Finn Balor comes out and essentially calls Drew a bully. Balor got totally dominated on the mic. McIntyre says he wasn't going to help someone out of European pride and Balor cares too much about his feelings.
- Drew gives Balor a match with Dolph Ziggler. He says if Balor can beat Ziggler, maybe he'll lower himself to that level, then headbutts him.
- Right vs. wrong on a pro wrestling isn't the conflict for me. It's interesting vs. not interesting. Drew McIntyre is way more interesting than Finn Balor on this show.
- There's a whole lotta kicks in this. It's a Finn Balor match.
- A nice FameAsser lands for Ziggler.
- Ziggler is sent from the ring twice, and Balor kicks Drew. He follows with a tope con hilo on both.
- Marty Scurll Too Sweet chants lead to Balor rolling up Ziggler for the win. You've seen this match a hundred times.
- Stephanie adds Balor to the Survivor Series team. She tells Drew this is her show, not his. She wants them to work together, and tear each other apart after. Closing the logic gap.
Rousey
- What a weird promo that was. Ronda Rousey and Becky Lynch are the same age.
- Rousey targets Becky Lynch for being entitled and for being a millennial.
- She gets really aggressive and I don't think this plays that well with people that the fans like.
- Rousey says Becky Lynch getting offended and being sensitive won't help her. What?
- There is so much in these Rousey promos that just doesn't play well if you ever paid attention to her media during her MMA career.
- THEY'RE TWO DAYS APART IN AGE, MAN.
PSYCH BITCH
- Ruby Riott sounds remorseful about what she did last week and throws to a video.
- The good ol' WWE female heel "PSYYYYYYYYYYYYYCH BITCH" trope promo.
- We all see it coming. She's happy about what she did.
- She cuts a promo about trying to bring something real out of Natalya.
- Natalya comes out and gets beaten up.
Winners Lead Team Raw
Battle Royal
Bobby Roode & Chad Gable win
- Heath Slater and Rhyno are out first.
- Both members of the Revival are out.
- This tag team division sucks ass.
- Lucha House Party and B-Team are out.
- Of course it's down to Ascension vs. Roode & Gable
- Roode & Gable do a great neckbreaker/moonsault and eliminate Ascension. Okay.
Brock Smash
- You know what this is. It's a Heyman promo, and it's a good one per usual.
- He says "Google it, bitches" about the Hotel California references and brings up Styles almost beating Lesnar last year.
- Jinder Mahal comes out and warns Lesnar against underestimating Styles like he did last year and offers to help Brock.
- Brock references Paul Heyman being Jewish.
- He gets beaten up, but the poor Singhs get German suplexed all over the place. Jinder also doesn't catch one of the Singhs.
Winner Is On Raw Survivor Series Team
Bobby Lashley (w/ Lio Rush) defeated Elias via countout
N/A (Short)
- Bobby Lashley HITS EM with the hamstring pose!
- Elias is on the phone with Child Protective Services because Lio Rush has BEEN KIDNAPPED by Lashley. This was hilarious.
- They brawl outside the ring, but Lio Rush grabs Elias' foot and gets him counted out from underneath the ring.
- This was a creative way to not get Elias pinned.
- Elias catches Lio, but Lashley makes the save.
Winner Is Added To Raw Survivor Series Team
Sasha Banks vs. Bayley ends in a no contest
5.75/10
- Alexa Bliss reveals that she's picked Nia Jax, Tamina and Mickie James for her team at Survivor Series, and Natalya has been given the night off tonight.
- She and Baron Corbin think that the remaining member need to show dedication over friendship. It's Sasha Banks vs. Bayley.
- This is good, as you'd expect. The two work wonderfully together.
- Sasha does a double knees sandwiched into the ring post, but drives her knee into those posts, too.
- Bayley does the apron Stunner and a Bayley to Belly on the apron!
- We come back from commercial and see Bayley eat knees on a flying elbow drop and is put in the Banks Statement.
- Tamina and Nia Jax attack and Alexa is thrilled. Ruby Riott is announced as the fifth member.
- "What was the point of having the match?" -- Michael Cole, asking something I ask at least once every week watching Raw.
- We cut backstage to see Becky Lynch breaking Ronda Rousey's arm!
- Team Smackdown shows up and brawls with Team Raw. Why this?
- If you've ever talked to anyone who worked with or for Vince McMahon during a brand split, you know the hangup he has with brand supremacy being the most important possible thing.
- Ronda Rousey comes out next, but gets beat down with a chair. Becky is BUSTED OPEN.
- I'd imagine whoever busted Golden Goose Becky up is gonna get a talking to.
- Why the shit would Becky and Charlotte be fighting back to back like Chuck Norris and that dumbass kid from Sidekicks?
- Stephanie goes off about this.
10- Perfect, 9- MOTY Territory, 8- Excellent, 7- Great, 6- Good, 5- Average to above average, 4- Slightly below average, 3 or below: Poor
Each match starts at a 5 and slides up and down based on entertainment, execution, time, environment, reaction and stakes. The ratings are in no way an indication of a "star rating," which is a completely different system. A standard, non-offensive "TV match" lands at a 5.The gap between 5.75-6 is generally the largest, with anything reaching 6 being recommended viewing.
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