Welcome to yet another installment of
OFF-TRACK with A-TRAIN
in this episode,
I join with Big Show in making fun of Shaquille O'Neal
who is a scaredy cat and also a little baby
who is definitely afraid to get in a wrestling ring
Seems like Big Show--and the WWE--are trying to get under Shaquille O'Neal's skin.
An interview with Big Show popped up on wwe.com yesterday, and it sure looks like Show is trying to motivate Shaq through some very good trash talking.
“I mean, here’s the thing. We shot this off at the ESPY Awards, Shaq said he’s in, I thought this would be a good match for fans to see two giants go at it. And I see Shaq riding around, singing karaoke and stopping in at Krispy Kreme. I’m like, “Hey! If you’re not gonna take it serious, find something else to do!” I’ve given 22 years of my blood, sweat and tears to this business and I’m doing this favor to Shaq. This could be my last WrestleMania. He needs to step up. I’m not trying to be mean, but my time’s valuable. I get it. I don’t have foot powder commercials, car commercials, insurance commercials. I get it. He’s a busy man. But if he’s gonna step in the ring, in my business, at our biggest event of the year? Show me you’re serious. If anything, talk a little trash. Let me know you’re motivated. Because right now? I just get the feeling he’s terrified. He shot his mouth off, he’s in over his head and he’s trying to back out. So just let me know what’s going on, brother.”
Okay, there's a lot to process here, so let's take the time to break it down piece by piece.
First of all, Show talks about how Shaq technically already agreed to this match, so he's gotta go through with it. Doesn't he?
“I mean, here’s the thing. We shot this off at the ESPY Awards, Shaq said he’s in, I thought this would be a good match for fans to see two giants go at it."
We have proof. It's on video:
"And I see Shaq riding around, singing karaoke and stopping in at Krispy Kreme."
That John Cena. Such a bad influence.
Meanwhile, Big Show has been working out almost constantly, and he's got ABS now.
Real, actual almost fully washboarded abs!
Shaq hasn't had abs since college. Or maybe even before that.
Maybe not ever.
But let's move on.
Show continued:
"I’m like, 'Hey! If you’re not gonna take it serious, find something else to do!' I’ve given 22 years of my blood, sweat and tears to this business and I’m doing this favor to Shaq."
DOING HIM.
A FAVOR.
That's gotta sting.
"This could be my last WrestleMania. He needs to step up. I’m not trying to be mean, but my time’s valuable."
Implying of course, that Shaq's time isn't valuable.
Which just isn't true. Shaq, show the people what you've been doing with your time.
Okay, those are maybe bad examples.
"I get it. I don’t have foot powder commercials, car commercials, insurance commercials".
Hey Show. You forgot "lotion commercials."
"I get it. He’s a busy man. But if he’s gonna step in the ring, in my business, at our biggest event of the year? Show me you’re serious. If anything, talk a little trash. Let me know you’re motivated. Because right now? I just get the feeling he’s terrified."
Of coiurse he's terrified. Just look at him, he's all jumpy and paranoid.
"He shot his mouth off, he’s in over his head and he’s trying to back out. So just let me know what’s going on, brother.”
Damn, Shaq, you just got spanked.
So will this match even take place?
Shaq is busy beefing down with the Golden State Warriors backup center, so he might not have time to get into the gym all that much.
And speaking from personal preference, I'd rather the match didn't happen. Celebrities always win these things, and Big Show deserves better than that.
Hell, if he's gonna put over a guy who's almost as big as he is, have him wrestle a match against Braun Strowman.
Make it a Last Man Standing match or a Tables Match or something fun, a street fight or whatever you want, just don't have Big Show job to a basketball player who was out of shape back when he was playing basketball full time.
Please.
