Enzo & Cass defeated Anderson & Gallows
5/10
- Anderson & Gallows' knockoff Bullet Club shirts just work.
- Confusing spot where Anderson intercepts Enzo trying for a tag, but Cole calls it as a tag.
- With Big E off Raw and Titus way past his prime, Cass has the best hot tag on the brand. Unfortunately the paint-by-numbers Raw tag matches aren't a good thing
- Enzo gets the win.
Backstage crappenings
- Matt Hardy is using some of the "broken" mannerisms. For some reason, Golden Truth challenges the winner of tonight's match.
- Golden Truth's last televised win was in October. Ok.
- Charly Caruso has become really good at her job. We have a kind of awkward Sheasaro segment where she interviews them.
Miz TV
- Miz is a really good indication that you don't have to win to be a big star.
- Miz makes fun of Balor for being too small, Balor says he'll beat Lesnar and get his title back.
- Balor gets the main event swear word.
- Balor tries to walk away because "Miz isn't worth it." Beats him up anyway.
- #StopFrontDropkicks2017.
United States Championship Match
Chris Jericho defeated Kevin Owens (c)
7.5/10
- This is an outstanding match with good heat from the crowd.
- Our dude Steve Muehlhausen had the scoop on the match order, btw.
- Wouldn't mind Jericho winning here, then dropping the title in the Tuesday main event.
- Chris Jericho out here at 46 years old hitting huracanranas.
- The deja vu of Owens surviving with a single finger is great.
- I hate Kevin Owens' "prize fighter" gimmick. They're all supposed to be prize fighters!
- Owens sold the finger on a Pop-up Powerbomb attempt. Wonderful!
- Jericho submits Kevin Owens!
- This poses an interesting situation, as Owens is owed a rematch, and AJ Styles is number one contender.
- Imagine having two storyline authority figures and not having either tweet about it being neat that they get a future HOF'er.
WWE Cruiserweight Championship
Austin Aries defeated Neville (c)
7.5/10
- Austin Aries is nice and over with the crowd.
- I like Booker T bringing the Demetrious Johnson analogy to Neville.
- Aries took an awesome spill off the top rope.
- Neville's front dropkick is way better than Rollins'.
- This match just flat out ruled. They worked snug and I believed them.
- Great crowd.
- Last Chancery. Wrestlers look foolish not sitting out of moves.
- Neville gets himself DQ'd. Clever. Turdy finish for a PPV.
- There's no reason the viewer should respect a ref's authority because the WWE rarely gives them reason to.
Raw Tag Team Championship
Hardy Boyz (c) defeated Sheamus & Cesaro
8/10
- We get some great "delete" chants, as well as "Brother Nero."
- Jesus, what a spill Jeff Hardy took to the outside.
- Jeff Hardy busted a tooth out. Jeez.
- That springboard uppercut from Cesaro is a work of art.
- Cesaro and Sheamus have beaten the Hardys to shit. They're like 20 years deep, dudes.
- Super White Noise from Sheamus!
- Cesaro catches Jeff outside but is sent over the barricade.
- What a cool finish, where Sheamus doesn't know who the legal man is. Great match.
- We get an excellent heel turn after the match with an assault on the Hardys.
- This first hour has been damn good.
Raw Women's Championship
Alexa Bliss defeated Bayley (c)
7/10
- This is a great place for a coming out party on Raw for Bliss.
- Bliss' skateboard stomp rules.
- Bayley scored with a bad ass Saito suplex.
- There was an awesome sequence where Alexa went 1-for-2 on knee attempts, then Bliss creamed her.
- Another good finish that ends with a DDT after a post bump. Good stuff again.
House of Horrors match
Bray Wyatt defeated Randy Orton
5.75/10
- When I was 9 I basically thought "WWF In Your House" was going to have a match in someone's house. It should have.
- LMAO at Randy Orton wearing his gear in the limo.
- House of Horrors is optimized for my surround sound system, I'll tell you that much.
- This is fine besides the zoomy camera shit.
- I hope "All-Star" by Smash Mouth starts playing and Bray says "GOD DAMMIT BO LEAVE MY PLAYLIST ALONE"
- A fridge gets slammed on Randy Orton. This is phenomenal and terrible. I had a good time.
- Back in the arena, Wyatt is in the ring, but Orton is behind him.
- The Singh Brothers and Jinder Mahal jump Orton, and Wyatt wins.
- So Bray Wyatt won his non-title rematch and didn't get his title match.
Seth Rollins defeated Samoa Joe
6.75/10
- I don't envy these two -- the live crowd got taken out of things after they had to watch 15 minutes of the show on the tron.
- Joe works over Rollins' leg early. Wonder how many dives Rollins will do after.
- Samoa Joe sentons the knee. You don't see that every day.
- Dying at WWE cutting off the replay when Rollins screamed "MOTHERFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU"
- Joe has specialized his offense for Rollins' knee. Cool stuff.
- Joe hits a dangerous looking powerbomb.
- Rollins sells his knee, then doesn't, then does, then doesn't.
- Rollins scored the pin while in the Coquina clutch.
Braun Strowman defeated Roman Reigns
6.25/10
- Thunderous boos.
- Reigns selling a beatdown from three weeks ago, good.
- Strowman awkwardly runs in to Reigns in a really green spot.
- Strowman beats the brakes off of Reigns.
- I really fear the direction of the company if they try to force the "Reigns overcomes the odds valiantly, he's a babyface, but you guys think of him as a heel hehehahahahoho" narrative.
- Strowman posts off the shoulder every time he's going to kick out.
- Strowman powerslams and wins!
- Huge stair attack after the match!
- Brock Lesnar got legitimacy by winning NCAA and UFC titles. Braun gets it by tearing up all kinds of shit and I'm super cool with that.