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The Curious Case Of Malcolm Bivens' Missing CD Player

Wrestling WWE Bobby Fish John Cena Nia Jax
Jeremy Lambert Sep 13, 2019 10:00AM

On April 24, 2019, Malcolm Bivens (formerly Stokely Hathaway) went to the the Street Profits (Montez Forward & Angelo Dawkins) and asked them about his stolen CD player. They vociferously laughed at him.

No one could have predicted what was to follow.

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In the months since Bivens' CD player was stolen, the former owner has been on a wild goose chase in search of the outdated technology. He's questioned nearly every major star in NXT. From Adam Cole to Shayna Baszler, all of whom claim they have no knowledge of the missing CD player. But are they telling the truth?

Let's review.

Bivens says someone "stooged" The Street Profits as the two who took his CD player. They did not deny the allegations, just laughed. The Street Profits are notorious for "wanting the smoke." CDs are often used as ashtrays.

Bivens says there is a "snitch" in the NXT locker room, which led him to Jessamyn Duke and Marina Shafir. Bivens takes this opportunity to ask for Duke's number. We must disregard this video as evidence as Bivens hindered his own case by trying to advance his dating life. However, it should be noted that this is the second time Bivens has accused someone of being a snitch or a stooge in the NXT locker room. Not a very good one, it would seem.

Bivens believes his CD player has made its way to 205 Live, so he asks Oney Lorcan to get him on the brand. Having struck out with Duke, Bivens is now using the CD player as a way to advance his professional career. We must respect the hustle. We must also notice the pattern. Is Bivens simply using his "stolen" CD player to make in-roads, both personally and professionally, in WWE? Also, why was Oney on the phone for two hours? Guess getting called up to 205 Live gets you unlimited minutes.

Bivens is sitting in Adam Cole's chair, wearing an Undisputed Era armband, as Bobby Fish enters the locker room. Bivens is listening to the Undisputed Era theme on his phone. It's clear that Bivens has other means to listen to his music. So the CD player must be more than a musical device. What kind of sentimental value does it hold? Fish states, "no one has seen your CD player." Finally, a denial. But can Bobby Fish be trusted? Bivens uses this opportunity to try and get himself into Undisputed Era, at least for one day, again showing that he could be using the CD player as an excuse to advance his career. Keith Lee is also present in this video. But he is not questioned about the CD player. Lee is clearly listening to music on his phone, but is that just a front? Sometimes, the person who did the crime is the one right under your nose. Not many people are under the nose of Bivens.

Adam Cole admits to complaining to HR about Bivens (Stokely) harassing everybody. Is Adam Cole a cop? Cole is also calling him Stokely and gets angry when questioned about the CD player, even though Bivens offers him a ticket to Bobby Brown. This is not a good look for Adam Cole. As the face of NXT, he could easily get away with this crime. Adam Cole won't be fired over a stolen CD player and he knows it. We also know he likes collecting vintage technology.

Shayna Baszler knows, but won't tell. Why is she blatantly withholding testimony? And why did she take Bivens' money? As the NXT Women's Champion, she should be one of the highest paid members of the roster. Bivens hasn't even debuted on television. Are women in NXT vastly underpaid compared to their male counterparts?

Bivens knows who took his CD player. CASE SOLVED! Maybe not. He still does not have the CD player back and we are presented with no evidence that Bivens actually knows. He could be lying about knowing the truth. Bivens wants to form the NXT Avengers and uses John Cena as a way to get everyone together. John Cena once made a rap CD. It's also becoming pretty obvious that Bivens is not very well liked. Maybe there's a reason his CD player was stolen and no one will fess up.

Now, Bivens is only "fairly positive" he knows who took his CD player. Though he contradicts himself again later in his chat with Gulak by confirming he knows who took it. Bivens concludes that he must run up on this man or woman. Gulak was not very helpful.

Bivens tries to get Cesaro to help him. A smart move. But he forgot Cesaro's rule that lasted like two weeks and was only showcased on YouTube.

We seem to get confirmation from Marcel Barthel and Fabian Aichner that WALTER is the man who Bivens believes stole his CD player. Is it a coincidence that Bivens first mentioned his stolen CD player just a few weeks after NXT TakeOver: New York? WALTER spends most of his time in Europe as part of NXT UK, but was in New York for TakeOver. We have now established a timeframe in which the CD player was stolen.

WALTER also has motivation for stealing the CD player. Bivens once tried to rally the EVOLVE locker room to jump WALTER. He also sucker punched WALTER in EVOLVE, hurting his hand in the process. WALTER is a cold man who unlikely forgot those things. Was stealing the CD player his revenge?

The trail has gone cold for Bivens once again as WALTER does not appear to be the culprit, at least not the culprit Bivens wants to confront right now. Bivens is back to using the CD player as a way to advance his career, hoping to join DX. Turns out, for only $100, you can be a member of DX and claim to have driven a tank right up to the WCW arena.

Has Bivens given up? He is now at Best Buy to purchase a new CD player. Does the old CD player hold less sentimental value than believed? Mia Yim, a main rival of Bivens, is now stealing the unpurchased CD player. On one hand, Yim is showing that she needs a CD player of her own and didn't steal the original. On the other hand, Yim lives to torture Bivens and we have video evidence that she is a CD player thief. Do we even know if she paid for that CD player? Finally, it's revealed that Bivens has a crush on Nia Jax. Did Nia Jax steal the CD player in one of those weird token of affections where you are mean to your crush to show them you love them?

After over two months without an update, Bivens heads to WWE HQ to check the Lost & Found. He is now claiming the CD player is lost and not stolen. Maybe he left it on the trunk of the Uber that dropped him off at Golden Corral? Bivens finds the Lost & Found box, claiming he hit the jackpot. What was Bivens doing in the two months between updates? Besides changing his name again. And why is he changing his name so much?

Our investigation does not end with the videos Bivens has posted on his social media. The Curious Case of the CD player has taken on a life of its own with others being questioned or offering their expertise.

In June, Matt Riddle pointed the finger at Mia Yim, coming to a similar conclusion as I did above. Riddle also questions the validity of Bivens even owning a CD player.

"Do I know who stole Stokely’s… I don’t even know if he has—or even had one. I think he just ­made it up. If he had one and I had to pick somebody… It’s hard. I think it would be probably Mia [Yim]. I feel like Mia would steal it just to mess with him and not tell. Yeah, I’m pretty sure. She’s always messing with people."

Riddle has not been questioned by Bivens about the CD player, but when Bivens asked The King of Bros for his permission to use the Bromission, Riddle turned him down. It's obvious that Riddle does not trust Bivens and what he says, but are we sure Riddle can be trusted? By naming Yim, is he throwing us off his scent? Like the Street Profits, Riddle wants the smoke.

Fightful's own Sean Ross Sapp has also tried to get to the bottom of the case, questioning MJF, Joey Janela, and The Best Friends if they know anything about the missing CD player.

MJF quickly kicked SRS out of his room after the question. Now, MJF would seem to have no use for a CD player, which should rule him out. But he's also a [insert your favorite word for 'note a nice person' here] and would simply steal the CD player because he thought it was funny.

Joey Janela gives an outright denial. But as the self-proclaimed Bad Boy, it's tough to trust his word. How bad are you if you won't steal a CD player? Janela also drops a major bomb saying, "I've heard rumors on did and he may or may not be Lio Rush. That's why there's so much heat on him in the company." This is a bombshell. I have asked Lio directly via @ing him on Twitter if he stole the CD player. As of this writing, he has not responded. We know Lio is in the process of putting together a rap CD, showing a need for a CD player in order to listen back to his music while on the go.

When The Best Friends (Chuckie T & Beretta) were questioned by SRS, they too avoided the question. Taylor said he hopes "poor things happen to Stokely Hathaway" before making fun of the name Malcolm Bivens and calling him "the worst." Notice that Taylor never looks directly at SRS or the camera and quickly tries to change the subject. He further deflects by discussing Bivens stealing his name while in CHIKARA.

I thought I had stumbled onto something while helping my parents clean their attic, but was quickly informed that this was not the droid Bivens was looking for.

However, this did reveal some vital information as we now know exactly what the CD player looks like. And, based on my research, we also know the CD player was stolen at or around WrestleMania weekend.

Unfortunately, the majority of the wrestling world was gathered in New York/New Jersey for WrestleMania and we are no closer to finding the man or woman who stole Bivens' CD player. No one has owned up to the petty crime and many have avoided the subject, only casting the spotlight on them larger.

If you were in New York/New Jersey at any point during WrestleMania 35 weekend, please send a detailed report of your whereabouts at all times to @Malcolmvelli. Otherwise, you are considered a suspect. Especially you, Mia Yim.

Editor's note: The only comment on the record we could gain from Bivens on this story is him informing us that he is "suing Matt Riddle and Keith Lee for 2.4 billion (yen? grains of sand?) a piece."

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