Celeste Bonin (Kaitlyn) looks back at the end of her WWE run.
Kaitlyn joined WWE in 2010, and went from assistant to Teddy Long to WWE Divas Champion within a year of debuting on the main roster in August 2012.
Despite winning the WWE Divas Championship in January 2013, Kaitlyn didn't feel fulfilled in her position.
“Towards the end of my title run, having the title, this is like the same thing with competing, it didn’t fulfill me in the way I had hoped for it to fulfill me. I was seeking something just like I was seeking that if winning in bodybuilding would give me this feeling. It was that same thing, will having a title give me this feeling of self acceptance, love for myself, feeling actual success. It did it ways, but it wasn’t that deep feeling I was looking for so I got really depressed from that. If not this, then what? What is it that I’m looking for? What is it that going to fulfill this aspect of me that’s empty or unfulfilled. That was kind of like an awakening for me, all of this glitz and glam and TV and making more money and getting the title and getting respect, it didn’t give me that feeling of satisfaction I wanted and that felt sad. It made me feel sad, it made me feel depressed and I began to think of other things like, what do I want to do with my life if not this? Then realizing that I really didn’t want to have a lifestyle of living on the road like that. For me, it was cool for a time period but I didn’t wanna do it for ten years, fifteen years or more and that wasn’t necessarily the route that I wanted. I started to have a lot of inner conflict and my body was expressing that, I was gaining weight again, I felt like I didn’t have control over the way my skin looked. My outer appearance was really expressing what was going on internally, that internal struggle and so eventually, I asked for my release," she recalled on Developmentally Speaking.
She continued, "It was funny, I had the title during WrestleMania 29 but I didn’t have a spot on the show at all, nothing. I was just like, man, I have the women’s title and I don’t even have a spot on WrestleMania in any capacity. They were launching Total Divas that day too. I didn’t like it. It wasn’t like I was hating on the girls that were a part of it, for whatever reason I wasn’t a part of Total Divas. I was starting to see that I didn’t really align or fit in the whole world of this and that was a big thing that was pushing me away from wrestling. After I loss the title and was going through weight gain, the office actually pulled me aside and was like, ‘What’s going on? You need to lose a few pounds.’ I was like, ‘I’m trying.’ It was really hard. Looking back, I was really just running from the feeling of inadequacy, this feeling of feeling not fulfilled. When I left, I was sad to leave but I always was like, I don’t understand what this is to me. I don’t understand how to keep doing it, how to keep playing the game and be happy on the inside. I had just re-signed, I still had like two years left on my contract when I asked for my release in early 2014 and I was just super quiet about it because it took me a long time to really process all of it, everything happened in such a short time.”
Kaitlyn left WWE in January 2014.
Elsewhere during the interview, she commented on a potential return to the ring. You can find her full comments by clicking here.
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